What does home mean?
For me, home is love, support and security. In a cold and often cruel society, home provides both a safety net and a social network to be there in the good times and the bad. Home means never having to be alone.
For me, to be alone is a scary proposition, which is funny because for much of my life I have been alone. Does not solitude, however, describe much of modern life? We move away, move apart, break up, leave lovers and friends behind in the pursuit of jobs, opportunity and new experiences. I am used to leaving. In my life I have left Quebec City for Montreal, then Montreal for BC with barely a backward glance, from BC to Alberta, then back down to Vancouver. There were no farewell parties, tearful goodbyes or even promises to write. I just left. I am tired of leaving.
My only family is my father in Costa Rica, whom I love dearly. We exchange emails now and then, talking about our lives and adventures. I am not open with him about my lifestyle, however, nor how much I love to inflict pain and humiliation on eager females 😉 Nor do I share with him the fact that I am poly, which means that the wall between us is not only a result of distance.There is not much to say in the occasional emails. The weather. Work.
Recently, I had the opportunity to move from one apartment to another. Moving is generally a nightmare, and I was dreading this event as another source of stress I did not need. But something very different happened. Friends and lovers appeared from the community, armed with trucks and cars, rags and vacuum cleaners and beer and food and muscle and cheer and humour and sheer beautiful kinkiness. They grabbed boxes, heaved sofas, cleaned the floor, packed the truck, drove the truck, unpacked, organized my kitchen, talked, drank, laughed, took care of each other and turned my apartment into a home.
When I stand in my living now, silent except for the Harleys rumbling outside and the children playing in the park, I can almost hear the laughter and feel the celebration. A celebration of life, of who we are as we are without denial or artifice.
This is community. This is family. This is home.